Wines Number 4

It’s been a long time since I last wrote a blog. I just about managed to get those Cig reviews in before my 2^nd child Etta came we’ve been back on the survival rollercoaster since (If you haven’t read Cig reviews it’s the next blog post below. Treat yourself). So it would take some massive size 15 kick up the arse for me to be even arsed to take a picture of a bottle nevermind make some notes. This particular kick up the arse came from not one but 3 boots,

Boot 1 – My mates sayin “Do another wine review”

Boot 2 – Christmas happened and consumption sky rocketed which is perfect for inspiration but shite for productivity (See data below as proof)

Boot 3 (the productivity boot)  –  I caught another episode of that wanky bollox of a Wine Show on channel 5 and it made me believe I needed to write this just to save wine from certain twatery. If you haven’t seen 'The Wine Show’ (original name yeah nice one) Its mainly about 2 smug middle England bulbs and one bean ed (who looks like me!) hanging out in breathtaking locations drinkin life in a glass nurtured from the fertile ground using generations of knowledge,,, and all only yards from their smug feet. They give the impression its normal for people to just randomly end up in a 300 year old Tuscan villa while popping out for Pims in Highgate!! The result is a very very boring programme that should be amazing. God! I can’t even make it past 10 minutes and my foot is stuck in the TV screen. BORED BORED BORED! Ive only attempted to watch it twice and now im on my 3^rd telly! Do me a favour. Get Bosco and the crew in Booths for a few hours and we’ll make a better show than that on our phones! No shit! Anyway I’ve collected data and analysed it to see if I should give The Wine Show one more try;

Before the reviews some Red Laser Corp business. Shares are up following the failed handback of Full Beam! LTD to Randy Marsh because A) He changed his name to Randy Brunson and that fucked up the legal documentation and B) He has no golden pubes  to trade (as agreed in the contract) after a stressful 2017 left them all grey however he still holds his position as Chief Operations Director at the company.

 January performance is slow out the back of a busy 17 but there’s some great things bubbling for 2018. Up first a super limited 50 press of breakhardcore and rave madness from DJ Absolutely Shit and limited represses of More Hitz and Bridge Theory.  Also look out for Tommy Walker III LP, EP9 and Full Beam! 2. On the party front were also reppin a full day on the Friday at Love International Festival Tisno Croatia (check that lineup below! Sorry Ben UFO! Event page here), Friday night at Gottwood in Wales and ive got some killa gigs coming up @ Rhythm Section London and a return to Bigfoots Teaparty in Edinburgh. 

 Anyway the main event.  Here some belters that helped keep my arteries clear of sausage fat though December .

Terrace Estate – Liquid Geography – New Zealand – Waipara Valley – 2016 – 8^th Day

 80% of my wine time is spent gluggin rouge so it’s not often I’m chattin blancs but10 yards from the seaweed pasties and hessian jam rags in a famous Manchester vegan hypermarket sits this amazing New Zealand Riesling. The bottle is adorned with gold medals like it’s a veteran of ‘The Grape War’. The expectation has been set dangerously high and is met piss easy. An icy mountain waterfall splashes citrus, peaches and honey across the grid. Every sip deletes a greasy memory. My brain is having a rare multitasking moment as it worryingly works out how this one bottle is gonna satisfy 8 people while simultaneously dancing with the caramel decay.  The melting sweet notes are cool enough to never get sticky making this wine a polyfunctional badman. Great with food, great without, amazing on a cold day, can’t wait for hot one. 

If you do one thing this weekend go and buy a bottle of this mega grog and have it with some light zingy scran. It will be a nice change from eating all that winter food which all starts to look like something you see on screen at an endoscopy.

Ca ‘ Marrone AKA Colle Marrone  - Merlot · Zinfandel · Negroamaro – Pulgia – Italy – Tesco

When I first got the wine bug it was because of the the big full bodied Ausie bangers. Shiraz from the Barrosa Valley and those bulbous Amarone’s and Primitivos from Italy. Then I got bored, fancied myself as some sort of hot shot sophisto and it was all about the light and subtle. I got bored of that well quick and realised that I just prefer big rich flavours. I like to think ive travelled quite a bit over the years and so far im convinced the world capital of huge rouge is Puglia in Italy’s heel followed closely by the Valpolicella zone in the North.  If you have ever been to Puglia you will know that buying Rosso there means you aint getting anything other than massive jammy bastards. We had bottles that were practically Porto due to 16% plus alcohol levels (That’s piss your pants zone on the Boscometer). In our local wine shop just outside Ostuni you could not get a rosso other than Primitivo and Negromaro and when I asked the owner if he had a Sangiovese he said he’d never heard of it!!! Only one of the great Italian grapes!! Anyway it was nice to see this Puglian wine using Merlot, Zinfandel and Negromaro with amazing results and on offer in Tesco for only 7 quid! That 7 quid gets you a 30 quid banger all day. This is grape gravy G! It’s as thick, dark and rich as Obama’s widge and classy like the man too. Its sits heavy in the glass. If you could extract dark matter and bottle it, this is what it would look like. The liquor grips your tongue and spreads a generous layer of red currant jam followed by melting dark chocolate. The perfect mix of coco bitters and sugary preserve slowly slide deeper into your throat and linger in a spectacularly long finish. On the eye its dark dark blood red. If you held it up to view with an imploding nebula behind the glass you still wouldn’t see through the fucker.  Its creamy richness is partly due to the process of Appasimento which is what also gives Amarone its huge characteristics. This is where the grapes are partially dried before going to press so you get this naturally sweetened output. I first started stocking the wine rack with Colle Marrone and its predessor Ca’ Marrone a year ago and whenever it goes on offer I go mental. The Mrs sends me out for wine and I always come back with one (or 2) and she rightly complains that I should be trying new stuff but hey, nowt worse than spending a tenner on a disappointing bottle. I’ll be braver when we can afford to be init. Verdict - CEO tackle at receptionist prices

Signos de Origen - Chardonnay - Viognier - Marsanne - Roussanne  - Valle De Casablanca – Chille 2015 – 8^th Day

The best white I’ve had in years. This ambitious blend can only be described as the ultimate box ticker. Strong at 14.5%, as fruity as Carmen Mirander’s helmet and a finish so rounded it will have flat earthers pulling their dicks out of their arses (give it up its well boring). This is another power grog from 8^th Day that dispels the myth about organic wines being shite. It’s hard to get your head around the Mango and pineapple butter that coats your palate and sticks around for a cuddle before getting fresh with your tonsils. Those wandering arms of crisp apple flesh get enjoyably gropey and I’ve quickly got a lob on induced by the bold approach of this powerful, full bodied, golden yellow and all natural WILF (Wine I’d Like To Fuck).

Villa Alta Amarone - Corvina · Rondinella · Molinara – Valpolicell – Italy  – M&S

Can’t talk about Amarone and then not have one. Ive had a few decent supermarket Amarones in recent years. Tesco, COOP and ASDA all have top shelf bangers under £15 but its M&S’s Villa Alta that has set the bar mainly because of its slightly oddball character for an Amarone. Sweet and round it aint but intriguingly more acidic than normal and balanced with rich raw cacao, black cherries and liquorice. First few sips and I was like “Shite this I don’t like it. £40 quid down the dunny (I’d bought a Magnum cos it was half price)” Half a glass later I started to realise it would have benefitted from being decanted for at least an hour before. By glass number 3 I’m hooked in and the chocolaty bitters are getting moreish as a 50 quid stone. The visual is as expected,,, Daaaaaaaaaaaaarrrkkk. Theres some great character in the nose and I found myself greffing the glass before each sip for that hit of coffee, almonds and oak. Due to this wines richness and balanced acidity I found it perfect for strong cheese consumption and goes well with chocolate too. If your gonna pick one up a normal size bottle is around £23 but remember to get it decanted for a couple of hours before swigging.

                                                                                                                                               

Astelia - Shiraz · Grenache · Mourvedre - Pézenas – France – Aldi

Aldi. The brand that disguised itself as a scruffy chav so it wouldn’t pose a threat to the old boys that monopolised supermarkets in the UK. Now there all shitting it! And they fukin should be. A foreign invader that won the hearts of a large cross section of UK society cos of its quality swag at gutter prices. You could buy a whole store for half a bit coin including the cars in the parking area. And some of the best lines Aldi sell is on the wine shelves. This is a big French cracker and comes in a bottle you could kill a cow with. Its heavy as fuck and covered in studs.  I had to spend 50p on a bag for life just to get a couple of em home safely. This doesn’t even need decanting. Straight from the cork pop it hit the glass like Ox blood and painted the inside red with its long thin legs.  On sniffy snifter a black forest gateaux was delightfully rammed up my nostrils. Whipped cream and all! The initial mouthful is the best. Dark spiced treacle, blackberry and vanilla all fight for centre stage and with each glug a new winner is crowned. Defo worth the tenner just for the amount of glass on the bottle alone.  

Tauleto – Sangiovese - Chardonnay -Trebbiano · Uva Longanesi – Tuscany - Italy

Well I know I’ve bigged up some wines in the above text but Jesus Christ this is a game changer. We have to thank Italian Chichetti  A'vucciria (website here) in Rossendale for this one. If you in the North West you should get your arse over there. The pork belly and the beef capaccio are instant boner tackle and then add this wine to the mix and it’s a happy sticky ending guaranteed! This is connoisseurs tackle. Its 40 quid banger that you’d pay hundreds for. If you take the leap and break the bank for one night the only disappointment you’ll have is not being able to afford another 3 bottles and if you’re not careful the credit card you got to pay for the critical new bathroom will be stained red across your teeth instead. It’s like drinking blueberries and vanilla with torched toffee. Its blended 4 grapes bring all of that North Italian mountain richness straight to your grid making it absolutely un-forgettable. I’ve already googled wholesaler’s locations in the UK to check out the possibility of liberating a few boxes. Bosco’s wine of 2017 (Nice one Pizzaman) Verdict – Chairman of the board tackle.

Il Bosco

Cig Reviews

It’s been a while but guess what? I’m still alive (after baby number 2) and Red Laser is still releasing music and getting involved in some ace events as well as being inspired by random shit. This time its Cigs!! But first;

Top of today's agenda are the two impending parties we are involved with. Total mega heads The Social Service have us playing at a special secret venue party (In Manchester) on Saturday 16^th July. Full Social Service bulbs as well as guets Me, Marsh and Pizzaman repping for the Red Laser crew. Theres a nautical theme so break out the sailor suit you wore at that wedding in 1984. Also, when is the Social ever shit? Never!! so get your ticket here (More than half gone already so don’t sleep)

CLICK HERE FOR TICKETS

Then it’s a Red Laser special at Berlins best kept secret Griesmuehle on Friday 5th August. If you haven’t heard of this club give it a few years and it’s all you will hear about. Without a doubt the best club in Berlin right now. A bonkers Mad Max style world mixed with industrial revolution grit over 2 rooms and the best outdoor space in Europe. In the Red Laser Records room we have Me (Bosco), Starion, Pizzaman and Franz Futuro allllllllll niiighhhhhhht  looooonnngggg baby.

Info here; 

CLICK HERE

STOP THE PRESS(ing plants cos of fukin record store day and the majors re-pressing albums you can get for 50p in mint condition anywhere cos they only sold 20 million copies world wide when originally released)!!! Next Red Laser releases in the pipeline (which needs un-blocking with Mr Muscle drain clear super strength);

• Kid Machine LP (Out well soon)
• Tommy Walker 3 EP (Out well soon)
• Leon x Leon EP (Out well soon)
• Il Bosco EP2 (Out soon)
• Volker Stevin & Shane Dorrian EP (Out soon)

OK to the main event. Spark up and get reading;

With the recent boom in electro puffing and news that E-cigs are barely harmful the kudos of the cigarette has been hit hard. Well im not fuking having it. Cigs are,  in my eyes, the coolest way to kill yourself. Go ahead and be a healthy smug neo smoker, standing outside looking like a total bell end while a Jean Michelle Jarre style light show breaks out with every drag and the air fills with the smell of Menthol Strawberry Bubble-gum. I’ll stick to the timeless class of the cigarette any day. So in a sort of ‘knee jerk’ backlash to the recent E Cig phenomenon here are some reviews of fags that have accompanied my good times in recent years.

Silk Cut

The cig that is only useful for;

A - 20 a dayers who been informed there definitely going to die if they don’t stop smoking immediately

B – Stoners that don’t like baccy in their spliffs

Puffing a Silk Cut is like drinking a McDonalds milkshake through a straw full of holes. The strain to get a satisfying puff is always too frustrating and can leave the smoker feeling like they’ve done some exercise.  They are usually favoured by middle aged women as the “diet for your lungs” type fag. Years of Silk Cut smoking eventually re-moulds the shape of ones face to resemble flesh coloured silk draped over the jawbone accompanied with a mouth like a cats bumhole,,, with longer creases. This is the result of years of forced suction in an attempt to produce a satisfying burn in the back of the throat and is officially called ‘Arid mouth’. If i had to throw in a positive i can only imagine how good their blow jobs are. Being passed a Silk Cut can be disappointing, especially when on the blag at the after party, but all is not lost. You can turn a Silk Cut into a Marlborough Light with a simple cig hack. Half way down the cork you will find small perforations. These can be blocked using the sticky part from rizlas or by simply using ample amounts of goz (saliva) to block the holes. Now you can really experience the flavours of that trademark dry tobacco including blow torched white bread, smoked vinegar and bitter charcoal. Unfortunately the flavours are diluted heavily when un-hacked so get pulling up some prime fleggy’s to take full advantage of this usually light smoke.

Regal

The undisputed cig of choice for Bosco and official Red Laser ‘King of all cigs’. They are one of the most expensive in the shops but the price is justified due to the exquisite packaging design and unique flavours.  A Regal Kingsize hits the spot every time and never disappoints. Each new pack becomes a party of sensory rituals. The film cover crackles with static when stripped from the box. The lid flaps slide and hiss like the doors on the bridge of the USS enterprise. The smell of a lightly toasted Chorlton sourdough slice bursts from the packet when the top foil is stripped away and reveals the tan topped soldiers who remain stood to attention when peeled from their barracks. The first pull of the flame draws the party to the lungs with the sounds of sizzling rashers and chuckling party guests and the mouth fills with the smooth sweet tastes of caramelised cyanide, vintage leather and carbonised shortbread. You really can taste every milligram of tar (10 in total!). Not only is Regal the lord and king of all cigs but is also ‘Lager’ spelt backwards (Thanks to James Holroyd for pointing this out). Also, Regal are notoriously difficult to find south of Manchester making it the official ‘taste of the North’.  Next time you above Birmingham pop into a tobacconists and enjoy this unbeatable brand. So good I have requested Manchester city council commission a 40 foot bronze sculpture of a 20 pack to be placed alongside the massive Vimto bottle on Sackville Street.

John Player Special Black (JPS)

At no time do I feel less of a man except when stood next to a JPS Black smoker. I don’t think I’ve ever manged to make it to the end of JPS cig without thinking about giving up. Each drag produces the same volume of smoke as a small fossil fuelled power station. The super dry, pungent, 100% pure Virginia tobacco can catch a chugger off guard if not familiar with its petrol like flammability and I once accidently smoked 2 thirds while lighting the bastard which left me slightly green and sea sick. However the flavours are superb. Petrified rubber with double cream roll around the mouth followed by a zingy acidic finish. If you hold your mouth closed and breath it back through your nose you really get the sweet notes of pan blackened highland toffee. 20 a day smoker s may not see a day past 45 though. Caution is advised.

Gauloises Blonde

Nobody does smoking like the French. On a recent trip to Paris I was mesmerized when walking into a Tabac that made Tron world look un-futuristic. I engaged with the owner whose passion for cigs was energizing and after informing him of my personal tastes I was advised to try Gauloises Blonde. This guy was a true professional at customer service as this was a great choice. Burns like a JPS, tastes like a Benson and smells like an Embassy. Had a slight ‘crème brulee’ twist on each drag that really satisfied and complimented a heavy sticky pudding and Arabic coffee. This gets extra marks as I later discovered they were the cig of choice for John Lennon. A man of great taste and experience can’t be wrong so well worth a try.

Il Bosco

The Wall 2, EP7 and Spandex 2

If you hadn’t noticed (Our Mrs well noticed) we spent most of Feb building a mega structure in the Red Laser Disco club venue. At the conception Me, Sonofapizzaman and Randal Marsh realised immediately this would be the hardest thing we would ever do regarding a club event and proceeded in the determination we were actually doing something different. Not to book a massive DJ name to get bums on seats. Actually create to attract. We agreed no matter the effort and cost, if it was dead we’d be content in the fact that we gave it our all. 

The wall on the night. Visual heaven

Well it wasn’t fukin busy and we lost loads of doe “aaaarrrgghhh” but the 120 people that were there, every single one of them, had their head blown off. We stood in front of the wall, soaking up the mega structure and tranced out at the immense visual deluge knowing we had lost doe laughing out loud shouting repeatedly “Look at that wall gee!” and “Best 400 quid I ever spent!”. The following day a little worse for wear, we went back in the venue to dismantle the bastard. Crane, the venue owner, was less arsed than we were about the numbers. He was still buzzin about the visuials! “I believe in anyone who puts that much effort and passion into what they do”. That statement from him made the decision easy. WE DOIN IT ALL AGAIN (Idiots)!!!  So on Good Friday April 3^rd the wall is being rebuilt and we goin in hard with Ruf Dug, Kid Machine LIVE, Dave Owen, me (Il Bosco), Randal Marsh and Sonofapizzman.

Please support your local gees. We on the recoup init. Red Laser Corp shares need a boost

Tickets here. "CLICK HERE"

Artwork for Red Laser EP7

In true Red Laser style it takes us a while to get the machine oiled and fired up after the Christmas burnout and finally after a 4 month gappage we have the first release of 15. EP7 has been in the pipeline for a while with all 3 tracks doin the rounds on soundcloud and via test pressings given to a lucky few so we have had the pleasure of hearing them destroy some of Manchesters finest club nights. It’s a full on Manchester affair of youth versus early middle age.

In the red corner Metrodome - Mondo

The executive teen from the ghettos of the M15 has the refined taste of a music sage beyond his years. His EP7 jam is fukin mint. Recently I get a lot of emails from labels selling there artists and tracks. To be honest it grates on me like the hard sell in any situation so im gonna go easy with the imagery drenched diatribe. Whatever I write about it, the acid test is when you bowl up to a DJ an ask “What the fuck is this?” I they reply “Mondo”.

The slightly older Kid Machine – Wheels of Fury

Habitant of Manchester’s largest estate Wythenshawe, has given the label my favourite track from any of his productions to date. Me and Red Laser resident DJ Sonofapizzman have been smashing this one to death and dancing like mongs.

Si-Fi systems The youthful Dan Wainright and the considerably older Chris Massey – Explore Your Mind

Young and ‘not so old’ create a slick analogue chugger with fizzy acid qualities. Chris Massey is no stranger to Red Laser releasing the belting The Trunk with Italian producer DJ Rocca on EP5. This collab with Dan sees that same distinctive chug and production value as before.

Due to a recent job change and doin mi exams I missed promoting the EP7 special riso print artwork version when the pre orders went up. Finally I get round to it and they have nearly all gone already!! 250 Red Laser house bag sleeve versions will be available very soon in many of the usual independent shops.

Also on the Horizon Ste Spandex’s EP2 finally gets released. Watch out for it in all the shops that usually stock Red Laser. Feels great to listen to Ste’s completely unique style on wax again. I aint hard sellin this. I don’t need to. It’s the breath of fresh air I needed right now.  Spandex’s music is perfect for deep thinkers so if you don’t think very much about anything other than the shit that’s spoonfed to you by popular radio don’t bother. Gotta say Ste cracked me up the other week when I saw the artwork for the first time . “The paper I got the prints on is mint” “Rip proof gee.” “Check this” and ripped the corner off the fucker ha ha mint. Spandex Poweeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr… By the way Ste did you know Spandex is an anagram of expands?

Bosco and Spandex around Red Laser Records birth 2012

Below is a picture of Spandex’s recent project. Two 90 minute tapes announcing a “No Vinyl Mixtape” had me buzzin and thinkin “Wish I’d a thought of that” So im currently making a no music mixtape and hoping to release it on Cerberus Industries. Will send soon Ste. All tracks on this mixtapes are Ste’s creations. Listening from start to finish will take you on an inspiring journey with moments of darkness, un-ease, industry, documentary, techno and outright euro laser disco. Pick em up here quick ""CLICK HERE"

See you in front of the wall

Il Bosco

First Red Laser Disco of 2015 and Wines 3

Well it’s been too long since I last wrote anything other than the Red Laser pledge to the shareholders (As seen on the back of Feb 6^th event flyer below). In fact the last blog post was wrote on 16^th September!! In Septembers post I had promised a selection of blog posts and completed zero. 

Matt Ward you were In your right to call me a ‘Fukin fraud’ for not delivering (as promised) the xmas booze review special so I’m doing it in today’s post to comfort all those who were relying on me for clear choices when deciding on their festive grog selection.  Readdressing your retox with alcoholic harmony is only a paragraph away winos so read the fuck on.

 First of all let’s talk about the real reason for the inspiration to write again. Me and label partner Matt Triggs decided we should really ramp up the quality and amount of releases in 2015 and we set about getting the ball rollin. LP 2 is in production and Ste Spandex EP2 and EP7 ready to release. There are a few more artists twelves and EP’s to follow those so it made sense that we needed up get the Red Laser Disco party upgraded so to provide a stage for the roster in Manchester. As part of this upgrade we added to the team fellow bulb whisperers Randall Marsh and Sonofapizzaman and I formally congratulate them with their successful applications. 

The first Red Laser Disco meeting with the new team went well. It started with some cautious brainstorming, we then got excited about some solid ideas, got slightly scared about the effort and cost and finally settled on something stressfully back breaking, divorce inducing and financially impossible. I’ll be lucky to still have a bird at the end of this one. Why? Because in a short space of time we are building a club inside a club. Yeah check that shit. To make this happen we have been working through a list of jobs bigger than Harold Shipmans death list so expect professional execution (No pun intended), slick production and attention to detail followed by wreckless intoxication (Except Marsh who’s up the next day on club clearing duty).

 So what is going on inside our club inside a club. STARION FUKIN LIVE thats what!! Starion the italo electro boogie jam meister finally lays down a live show on home turf. After getting some live debut practice at the Magic Waves winter festival in Berlin he is ready to obliterate Bangkok (Bar) in Manchester. All his Red Laser material will be going down freestyle gees. Also; ‘Come witness a galactic cat scrap’ as the social services boogie queen Ladybeige takes on a couple o the Disco Mums in a cosmic slam down. If you’re lucky they’ll all be ‘on’ at the same time just to ramp up the scrapage factor and if were really lucky it will be a full moon too!! Heat like this is sure to rip the fabric of space and time so pack your reverse thrusters for a quick getaway if you find yourself the target of an underserved face melting rant.

Who else is melting faces on the night? – Il Bosco (Yeah that’s me), Randall Marsh and Sonofapizzman.  CLICK HERE for our own event tickets (buy local) or HERE for the Skiddle version. Tickets are also available in physical form from Piccadilly Records Manchester.

Before I start the wines selection I must say theres been a wealth of great imagery, seen throughout this blog post, on Red Laser Disco facebook page throughout 2014  (CLICK HERE TO VIEW) and a special shout out goes out to Aaron Fitzgerald who I now officially crown ‘Red Laser Disco Image Digger Of 2014’. Congratulations dude..

 Right so here’s what I been drinkin

Cal Pla – Priorat – Spain  2012

 Straight in with a fukin belter this was a Christmas prezzy from mi Mam. Salford has come a long way over the years. Mum lives round the corner from the notorious Langworthy Road, a once post-apocalyptic playground for violent crims and street rats. However It now bustles with restaurants and wine shops in the shadow of Media City, a 500 million pound play centre for television lovies and thier bum chums who have driven the demand for middle class food halls to quench the demands of their lifestyle upgrades. Mum always made the best of her brazen social skills and so it wouldn’t surprise me if she had a good inside hook up at the local Booths cos this wine was showbiz class. A lovely Spanish Red from the Catalan region of Priorat the area known for its enriched mountain soils and relentless sunshine. These 10 year Garnacha and Carnena vines combine to create a mystically deep almost black cherry red that caramalises at the edges. On the palate the deep colour is confirmed as you can predict via rich jammy red fruits, ripe and sweet with a smidging of metallic ox blood. No sharpness on the tongue ramp this gem up the quaff-o-meter toward the ‘piss the bed zone’ Verdict - El Toro personified

Meinklang - Burgenland - Switzerland

Switzer-fukin-land!!! Wine!! Well yeah makes sense really. They got the money, they got the altitude, they got the soil, they may even have the sunshine thru the summer and, lets be honest, they aint got anythin better to do than juggle cash decimals and fix clocks. The swiss winemakers must be yodelling all the way to the bank with this 10 outa 10 cracker. Its clean, clear and bright in the glass and im excited to introduce it to my gob.  After a good ogle of its form I emptied my lungs, plunged my conk in the glass and took a deep breath. My nose filled morning dew, dainty mountain flowers and freshly washed lederhosen. The light spin around my mouth wrapped my taste buds in strawberries and cream and it got better with every. This went really well with an argument about nothing with the mrs.  Verdict – A Sublime Alpine Wine

Marques De Valido Rioja Reserve

OLA!!! We’re back in Spain!!  Spain is everything you want in a country (except for its passion for a recession) and without a doubt Spain is one of my favourite places to visit out of anywhere in Europe being home to one of the new seven wonders of the modern world, the 24 hour Only Fools And Horses Restaurant on the Costa Del Sol.  This wine is from a different part of Spain, real Spain to be exact. Right in the north in the Rioja Alavesa Region. Although this world reknown area is drenched in the pride of its admirable winemaking history it is full of actual Spanish people and not members of far right bulb factory 'Britian First'  having a break in the sun (Weird!!)... Despite Spains ressesion adiction wine production remains a strong export and not surprising due to examples like this being widely available at great prices on supermarket shelves in the UK. The Tempranillo grapes in this nectar create aromas of sweet berries simmering in vanilla. It rains cherries and liquorice on the palate and has an earthy old oak decay in the outro. Goes really well with a small salad presented on a minced beef patty separated by a cheese slice between a bready bun from a gaff called maccy’s.

Casale Di Valle Chianti – Chianti –  Italy

Italy – I’m home. You cant beat Italy for wine, music and paradoxical evil in the name of Christianity. Lets forget about the last bit and hone in on how good the wine is. When you get a good Chianti you cant get a better wine anywhere. They just encapsulate all that’s great about Italy. Sexy, dark, flowing, luscious, leggy, brazen, cocky and homoerotic all in a bottle. Just how I like my men. Only jokin. I’ve actually tried to fancy men but figured out quickly I’m definitely straight after trying to imagine sucking a dick. I didnt like it. Any back to this wine. Visually and on the nose its blingin the Ruby jewels with a big berry perfume. On the palate the fuker splashes rasberries and pepper across the tongue with a long finish and great legs that work the glass like a catwalk model. This is a fukin feisty mare so buy double cos your defo want more when its gone

Maynard’s 30 year aged Tawney Port

 So this aint exactly  wine but it is a fortified wine so that counts and means I can talk about it. Last year was the first time I got into Porto. This year I went back to Aldi to purchase this absolute belting ruin. I could easily end up living on a park bench if I could get my hands in this every day of the week. Fuck me it was like collecting everything good about Christmas and distilling it into liquid gold. I pretty much did half the bottle to myself and have had to hold back from going back in to purchase another bottle. Port is so much more complex than wine. The Nose was a so deep it turned my brain into pudding. On the palate it was thick and creamy with so many notes bouncing around like an orchestral masterpiece. Notes of oak, leather, currents, sour cherries, dates, orange peel, lemon, leather, tobacco, liquorice caramel, and on and on. My mouth is watering on to my laptop as I type. Christmas could not come sooner so I have an excuse to spend another 50 quid on a bottle of pure happiness. Also came presented in this amazing ‘ships decanter’ as informed at dinner by Captain Mike. Respect to our sailors for solvin that one. “Fuck the iceburg what about this constant booze spillage problem” – So good it’s now a yearly tradition (plans are afoot to make it quarterly) in the Bosco Bodega.

Hope that filled a gap left before crimbo. Don’t forget to purchase yo tickets for Red Laser Disco on Feb 6^th here as they always sell fast and £8 now is better than £10 on the door (For you. That’s actually better for us) (CLICK HERE) for the tickets and info

Laters

Il Bosco