Friday, 16 May 2014

Readers Waves

Many producers will instantly notice a wave with great form. Sometimes you know you just gotta use a sound when its wave looks beautiful even if you have no need for it within a composition. This blog post is an outlet for some Red Laser Readers to share their sexiest waves and for some others to look on them in an act of voyeurism. Real waves from real people. No airbrushing or touched up shit you get in the magazines.

Kid Machines Wave – Wythenshawe, Manchester

Shaped like a wizards butt plug Kid Machines wave looks ready to penetrate your earholes deeeeep.  You can tell that the long bend is there to maximise joy and deliver that ‘ribbed for your pleasure’ message. Machines wave has gone for the classic monochrome look which shows the body off nicely with its figure hugging black design and what a curvy figure it is ! I’d love to wrap my lobes around that unit! Curvy wavey slut YES

Loge’s Wave – Halifax, Yorkshire

This fucker came with an ‘approach with caution’ message from Loge himself. “Careful you don’t instantly Jizz in your pants” he warned before i scrolled down to reveal this beautiful plump grub like ear tickler. It’s clear from his wave that Loge is partial to a bit of a scrubber. She’s an ‘off the estate’ gal who’s overweight in all the wright places. Its bulges are nicely complemented by the retro green screen glow of his hardware. I recon Log’s wave has vinyl origins as it’s quite the hairy bitch. I must say Loge I love that ‘wave next door’ vibe. Defo hot and achievable.

Moodymanc’s Wave – Whalley Range, Manchester

This mucky wave dropped into the readers waves PO Box from deep house maestro MoodyManc. This beautiful slice of sound porn is one of his favourite Zildjian ride’s on repeat and fuck me does that look like a good ride.  Even better, I always like a wave that’s presented well and Moodymancs is sensually compressed and draped in tasteful shades of green, finishing the outfit in a flattering innocent white although I bet this filthy fuck is far from innocent. Spam dressed as Lamb yo. This funky bitch is perfect audio wave smut. 15 outa 10

LeonxLeon’s Wave – Paris, France

Sacré bleu!!!!!!!  “””Wow!!!!””” This wave is exceeding all the ‘French Wave’ stereotypes. I’ve already cracked off a couple o wanks before writing and I’m booking in one more before I make it to the end of this review. It’s not often I get jealous of another man’s wave but fuck me this is ridiculous!!! Just look at the form! It’s a real treat to see those perfect curves set in classic radar black and simply glowing in the finest old school green. Shit G, this bitch is classy. Like outa my league shit. The kind of centre fold poster from ‘Playwave Magazine’ I had on my wall as a teenager. This truly is a treat from his DX7 Synth. LeonxLeon we salute you. Royal wank bank tackle.

Il Bosco’s Wave – Stretford, Manchester

It don’t feel right not to share my own waves so check this juicy biatch. This is a perfect analogue kick outa the Roland 808 and into the XL2000. You can see she has none of the hairy frizz you get with a sample off a record just straight clean curves. It’s a shaven raver with the smooth edges and a big booty to boot. Fire her up and watch those bassbins wobble. Its playin it safe with the classic early MPC monochrome outfit but that’s the best colour for complimenting those bulky lower frequencies. God daaaaaammmmmm you a sexy wave!!!!

Ste Spandex’s Wave – Levenshulme, Manchester

Check whats Spandex is doin to his waves the kinky bastard!! After getting twisted during 12 hour phet fuelled studio jams in his rave cave he starts getting all Jophrey Beratheon on those bitches by sending them through organite compressors and over the singularity of a CEM Chip black hole to stretch em out. Check that chubby wave get stretched thin as it passes through. If you wanted to shave some bulk of it you could have trimmed it you twisted fuck!! Still Spandex has managed to make his wave damn sexy. From shit to fit. Although a little scrawny for my taste I can still appreciate a tall and pretty catwalk wave tickling my orifices any day of the week. Its an erratic ugly bitch to begin with then classy Vogue tackle at the end. Work it you scrawney wave!!!!

Starion’s Wave – Stretford, Manchester

Starion’s simply called his wave ‘The Clap’ so I was unsure if what I was opening was STD riddled and corrupted!!! Instead we can see Starion likes a hairy one!! Check out the un-kempt frizz on that stereo clap! Starion you dirty bastard. I suppose it takes all kinds to make the world and I’d be lying if I didn’t have my ‘hairy preference’ days. Theres something quite naughty but nice about shaving pube riddled waves with a compressor. When I’m feeling like a dirty little bastard I’ll even add growth by time stretching the fuker. Starions clap still has a great shape and its tastefully presented in 2 shades of blue. Bit o blue for the dads eh Starion?? 

I'd like to thank all the readers that sent their waves. Apologies to those that didnt make the Readers Waves section this time but keep sending. I'll keep any classics to one side for the next feature and the rest for my own personal collection. 

Il Bosco

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