Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Blood Lust - Bosco Wine Reviews

Seen as tho its Halloween, instead of doing the obvs and writing about ghosts and horror disco I thought I would give my verdict on my favourite blood coloured tipple Red Wine! The following would be best read listening to Flemming Dalums Classic Mixtape ITALOWEEEEEEENNNNN 

 Most peeps I know on Manchester’s boogie italo scene like to get fucked up (Intoxicated). Warm tinnies are the grog of choice for most G’s except for Full Beam’s Randal Marsh who fuels up on Buckfast and Hyper Juice (Blag Red Bull) which would explain why he has a faulty trigger. But when im chillin in the nest sifting through that week’s collected charity shop rubble for gems or just getting lost in heavy delays while synth jizzin I like to kick it with a nice glass of rouge init. I do prefer the reds as white wine can often leave me feeling like im on the waltzers with an eager gypo on spin duty. Red however makes me feel more like I’m being cuddled by the gypos nana and goes well with a bifta. 

Here’s a guide to Bosco’s favourite reds of the moment. P,S Most are based on whats on offer at the local supermarket. There is an Oddbins down the road but facing failed graduates with bad skin and stale breath really puts me off drinkin so I rarely frequent the gaff

Oyster Bay – Pinot Noir – New Zealand – 2011

 Years ago the bigger the taste the better the wine was for young Bosco, Now, a huge bouquet with a tamed impact on the taste buds has become my standard choice. Subtle new world wines like the Pinot Noirs of Oz and New Zealand are the equivalent to droppin a sophisticated well produced chugger at the disco. Nobody notices at first until a few minutes in the heads start turnin eventually leading to questions gettin asked. It has a subtle port like nose with a spiced fruit gain and a great citrusy crisp fade echoing through each gulping outro. All combine to give a delightfully complex grip in the understated style of Pinot Noir. This excellent example can be picked up in most supermarkets. Sometimes on offer too which will have me stockin-up for storing in my wine cellar (cupboard next to the oven). Verdict – Reassuringly not that expensive

Ogio - Primitivo – Italy – 2012

This is a cracking power wine. Showbiz grog at ghetto prices. It seems to be perpetually on offer in the local supermarket so i always grab a few bottles for the cellar. It is dangerously gluggable and if one isn’t careful you’ll find yourself waking up in your own piss. It instantly has a place in my heart due to its production location of Puglia which is right in the heel of Italy’s boot. Its well-known that I got a thing for high heels Shaaamooaaann!!!. It has none of the annoying sharpness you get with cheap wines that result in a bum-hole shaped vinegar mouth. Its rounded smooth edges complete with great rich jammy undertones make this bottle-o-juice a real guzzler. Verdict - A Rad Red

Chateau Musar – 2003 – Lebanon

 It’s in the special occasion price range but fuck me this is a belter. If you ask most G’s to name something great to come out of Lebanon theyd probably say 1) red hashish, or 2) the fukin road out of the country unaware that the Leb is responsible for some bangin wines. Musar is made from a variation of classic Bordeaux grapes in the old skool style and so, just like Bosco, it gets sexier with age. This needs 10 years minimum before gargling can commence and is best decanted and left to sit for at least 10 mins. Anyone who’s kicked back with a decent vintage before will know about the addictive musky tones you get with an aged wine. Its deep rotten wood, vanilla, tobacco and dried plumb vibe puzzles and tricks the taste buds leaving you gaggin for more after each gulp. Only quaffable if you’ve got deep pockets G as sinkin 4 bottles of this fuker in a night will cost you over a 100 nicker. That’s more expensive than crack addiction. Time to start robbin teenagers in Stretford Mall to fund my Musar habit. – Verdict - Elebanon out of 10

Louis Jadot - Beaujolais-Villages – 2011

Just like my vinyls Im a sucker for the old school. This belter from Burgundy is defo kickin the arse of any normal Beaujolais. The French boss the old world in the wine stakes and this is liquid proof. Big berries dance about in the mouth like Ribbenna employees at the staff crimbo party. The warmer they get the juicer the results. This agent of pleasure is built solid and gives a great performance with Red Meats and rich gravy’s. Verdict – Old skool leg opener

Casalle di Valle – Merlot - Chianti – 2012

To most the word Chianti will conjur images of a corny English cannibal wearing a grid on his mouth and sucking through his teeth. This is pretty shit really as it takes away from how good this region is for wines. Chianti is in central Tuscany which makes it the centre of Italy’s culinary centre which pretty much makes it centre of the centre of Europe’s scran centre. All those years of experience and inspiration culminate in many great Chiantis including in this bright cherry red with great consistent legs and peppery bottom. Goes well with 80’s electro and Italo slo-mo bangers – Verdict – Top Italowine

Mountain Veiw - Cabernet Sauvignon - Chile – 2012

 Any amateur wine swigger will have noticed the invasion of Chile on the local supermarket shelves and when they aint chewin coca leaves and fukin lamas these cats produce some red hot wines. Mountain View kicks a nice medium flavour. Not to strong and not to weak either making this a very versatile poison. Its legs stay strong on the glass and it gives a creamy finish due to its surprising thickness which only enhances its pungent berry tones and meaty apparitions. Again a great price means you can stock up and drink till your gaol bladder fills with rocks. Verdict – Proper Quaffer

Anyway go fill yer fukin boots and enjoy the above claret. Wear a white shirt get pissed enough to spill it all over yasen and you will look the part for Halloween too!

Once ya hit bottle number 3 why not call the Albanians and stick on some boogie bombs courtesy of this belting mixtape from Randy Marsh (Click Here for "A Late Night Boogie Review 2) complete with Psychopathic cover art!


Il Bosco 

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