Thursday, 12 December 2013

Joy To The World

I have been quite honored recently to have received invitations to DJ at club nights that I would pay to go to never mind DJ at. In recent years I have become not interested in DJing just for the sake of it. I have in fact been turning down DJ offers when they may involve the following scenarios

1 – Spending 4 hours in a City Centre Bar with punters that think there cool as fuck because they are in a City Centre bar asking questions like “can I mix the next record?” and “have you got anything good?” Well twat neck “Can I mix my fist with your face?” and “Has your Mum ever birthed anyone good?”

2 – Some student sends you a message saying “Come and play at my party. It’s really good. It’s always busy”. “I can get your taxi fare, 5 free drinks and some free guest list”. Er, how about fuck  off? Instead I could  stay at home and listen to music while eating top scran, drinking bottles of wine and getting busy with the Mrs without even leaving the couch. “Fukin pleb”

3 – “We are doing a charity gig will you play?” Yo I aint being funny but I got a family to look after and this fucked up country doesn’t do much to help the hard workin working class man. I bet Mr Oxfam don’t buy second hand clothes for his kids? I bet Mr Shelter got more than 3 bedrooms? I bet Mr Mind got his health care nailed? I bet Mrs Animals In Distress enjoys her Fois Gras? If it aint Cancer or AIDS I’m not arsed and even these days doin a charity gig for AIDS victims is like doing a charity gig for Flu victims. A testament to how far we have come with the treatment of HIV

Call me picky but I only wanna DJ at nights that I really like to go to as a punter as well as nights that have a great reputation or nights that are run by people who I know are clued up. Anything else will depend on how ridiculous the money is. Let’s be honest, if Tesco’s offered me £5000.00 to DJ for an hour in Stretford Mall I’d bend ova forwards to accommodate never mind backwards. Lube me up and go easy Tesco

The following bookings are definitely not money based decisions and I am really looking forward to choosing the records and playing at these upcoming events.

The End Of Year Riot – FAC501 – Manchester - 27th Dec 2013

When first got the vinyl bug at about 14 I was missing out on an amazing time in Manchester music history because my age restricted me from goin out clubbin. While Manchester basked in nightclub glory I had to settle for smoking bongs on the park and shooting piss heads on their way home after last orders with an air rifle from my bedroom window. Older heads would talk about the Hacienda like they had discovered a pleasure paradise. In 92 I was 17 and old enough to get a blag I.D card and by this time the Hacienda was like a disco in a maximum security prison. I’d finally come of age and Manchester’s club scene was fucked due to hooliganism, gang violence and the council’s lax approach to door staffing regulations which had every twat in Manchester controlling the clubs. Still even before I was old enough to attend clubs I collected the music so in some ways, even tho I never made it to the Hac in its heyday, it still had an impact on me musically and mentally. It took a good 8 years before the Manchester Club revival had fully kicked in.

A big part of the revival was born through music eclecticism centred around the record shops in the newly named Northern Quarter. Many of the shop workers and frequent punters were organising small parties separately and together around Manchester from the mid 90’s and spawned nights like Yellow, Aficionado and Head Funk, These nights had the party jumpin without playing house music! To me this was weird, new and exciting. Eventually in 99 I joined the Fat City crew and a year later started working on the Friends & Family party just at the right time to ride the wave my piers had initially rippled 4 years before.

The main night that kick started the revival was the legendary Electric Chair. Its crew steered this small underground night over 13 years from small party in 1995 to 1000 capacity international dancing zone by its hay day throughout the noughties. It became the flagship of Manchester music revival and put us back on the fukin map just as we were getting pigeon holed as an ‘indie rock’ haircut factory.

 I would attend whenever possible. The atmosphere was ridiculous. People would travel from all over Europe to attend. DJ’s couldn’t believe it. They jizzed in their pants and couldn’t wait to get re booked. Everybody was in there. The cargo net would get ripped down from the roof ritually at each event as the DJ hit fever pitch (I have the honour of making this happen when I played at one of the last events). And everybody, absolutely everybody, was out of their fukin skulls!

It was inevitable that Electrics would celebrate an end of year party and this became “The End Of Year Riot”. Instantly The Riot became an important fixture in the Manchester clubbing calendar. Its original venue of Legends is sadly not with us anymore after being demolished to make way for Turd Pods (city centre quick build apartments). Its cavernous multi floored maze was perfect for housing only the highest calibre of tit head from Manchester’s underground club scene. Still they have the cracking multi roomed venue of Paradise Factory so you won’t miss out on that fear of being lost as you loop the building 30 times and still not find your mates.          

This year’s line-up looks fantastic. Horse Meat Disco, Chris Dukenfield, Justin Robertson, The Unabombers, Derrick Carter and Joes Bakery. This is all happening on Friday 27th December and will sell out in advance I’m sure so "Click Here" For the Event Details.

Wet Play, Full Beam, Red Laser Records – New Year’s Eve Party – Soup Kitchen, Manchester

The Wet Play New Year’s Eve Party at Soup Kitchen is becoming the stuff of legend. Wet Play mad fukers Matt Ward, Wayward, Randy Marsh and Ste Spandex have been smashing it for the last 2 years and this year have invited Red Laser Records and Full Beam to join the rumble. Not only that they have special guest Benny Badge of Nite Class and Freekwency fame. Repping the Red Laser Crew will be me, my red laser business partner and Fat City bossman Matt Triggs and our man from France Leon x Leon is making the trip for his first experience of Manchester’s crazy gang. This will be without a doubt the mentalists choice of New Years eve party playin the strongest underground vibes as standard. Cancel the New Years day turkey and get enquiring about what time your local pub opens instead. I cant wait to celebrate over the 2 floored Soup Kitchen venue which is definitely one of the best underground venues in Manchester. V Excited

"Click Here" for event details

I was that happy about being involved in this event that I became overcome with creative energy and set about making a set of Top Trumps Cards based on all the DJ’s who have played at Red Laser, Wet Play and Full Beam. 39 handmade cards. What I did as a joke ended up coming to fruition and 30 packs were made. Only 2 remain after they were snapped up online. If you want a pack you better move fast cos I cant be arsed with the re-press

Snap up a pack by emailing me here  £4.50 a pack G

As for as the actual event goes it  will sell out in advance so get your tickets sorted!!!!!! Click here for the event

Hypnotic Tango - The Waiting Room - Stoke Newington London

This is Hypnotic Tango's second event and by the look of their first event this looks my kind of night. First of all the fact it is named after My Mines mega classic track and secondly the 1st line-up was pretty special with Bordello A Pariagi and Ali Renault repping sealed the deal. Its always great to be apart of something new so any London peeps get down and represent. Also on the night is Brassica of Civil Music and Piers Martin of Cocadisco and the Hypnotic Tango residents. I will be digging deep into the vaults. Dusty vinyl selections only 

Regarding all these events there will be, of course, people who will say “Who the fuck is Il Bosco?” to which I would say. Fuck you cunt…… No  No ha ha only jokin. Av a go here at a brand new all vinyl live recording and clue ones self up init "Click Here"

Nice One

Il Bosco

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